Well, it's hard to explain and it's complicated. Everyone wants to know why and I have a difficult time articulating my reasons.
I do love my country and my freedom and all of those wonderful things. I feel so incredibly lucky to have a life like mine; I've had the opportunity to travel and see and do amazing things, I have so many positive and inspiring people in my life, and I have the freedom to make choices about the direction my life will take, for better or worse. The last part is probably the thing I'm the most thankful for.
I've been told time and time again, starting at a very young age, that I can be anything I want. While it's easy to get caught up in obstacles and discouraged as you try to be whatever it is you want, I do believe that that message, found in everything from Dr. Seuss books to college brochures to Army propaganda, really is true. We have the freedom to learn and grow and, while we may not all be successful in our quests to be astronauts or the President of the World, we have the freedom to be the people that we want to be on all the important levels. We can be good people -- helping others, speaking out and working for things we believe in, learning about things we are interested in, and pursuing the way of life that will make us happiest -- without fear.
While I do love all the ideals of peace and harmony and buying the whole world a puppy, I understand that people naturally struggle for power. The US is a wonderful place to live and, while there are certainly huge problems with corruption and waste and apathy and a million other things, we, as American citizens, have the ability to change things for the better and that power is huge. I believe that preserving a country that gives its people so much is certainly worth a fight and personal sacrifice.
I do not care to discuss my personal feelings about the war in Iraq. I am not joining the military because of my personal feelings about the war in Iraq. Regardless of my personal feelings, the chosen leaders of this country have made the decision that it is essential to our nation that we fight this war. I understand that joining the Army comes with a big chance that I'll get orders to go and fight and, while that comes with risk on many levels, I am comfortable with the risk.
I have a close relationship with a few individuals that have, and are currently, giving a lot of themselves to the military. Seeing some of the things that they are going through does horrify me on some levels, and I am so appreciative that they are still willing to stand strong in the force that is crucial to protecting the strength and personal freedoms that I enjoy so much, despite the crap they have to do and see and deal with.
In addition to being appreciative for their service, I also feel a bit selfish for being, up to this point, unwilling to offer anything of myself to support our military. I am strong; I am physically and mentally able. I can do it, but I haven't.
I understand that the this may sound very naive and overly idealistic. Maybe I am naive and overly idealistic. I may have a very different story to tell four years from now. I may have a very different story to tell two weeks from now. I'm fully aware of that possibility.
There's one more huge reason, though, that I'm doing this that is even more difficult for me to convey to others. In all the things I've done, I've seen some really, really screwed up stuff happening to people in our country (to put it as nicely as I can). I saw these things most profoundly in Mississippi, after Katrina. If I were to start explaining the ways that my time on the coast shook me to the core, I would be writing this all night and I still wouldn't be able to convey it well.
I want to change things, at least a little bit. I feel that the best leaders are the people that are willing to put others before themselves. Military service will hopefully be a stepping stone to place me in a position to do things that I want to do. The training, experience, and whatever sacrifices I may make, for better or worse, will hopefully play a large part in my future success.
And, you know, there's also the Travel and Adventure that my recruiter keeps telling me about!
